Levi's Fantastic Adventure -Paint Party Friday

Two weeks ago my dear friends lost their sweet three-year old boy, Levi, to a rare type of brain cancer.  I was honored when his grandparents asked me to draw a picture of him with some very specific details.

Levi loved giraffes and sports.  He adored trains, too.  They also asked for a garden, ladybugs and those wonderful trees with Mount-Kilimanjaro in the background.  He loved the color blue.

When he saw the picture, Grandpa Nick said, "Only you could have done this."  And when I told him how many people had been praying while I worked on it, he replied, "I see God's hand all over this drawing." That is one of the greatest compliments I've ever been given.  I felt God guiding my pencil as I drew.

Above is my reference picture.  Isn't he the cutest, sweetest little fellow?  Please pray for his family as they grieve.

God bless you dear ones, thank you for dropping by--you are always, always a great encouragement to my heart. Happy Paint Party Friday!

Why?

This drawing was wrested from my broken heart two years after my Beloved flew away to heaven.  A little over two more years have passed since then and today is his birthday...

So many questions still remain--I am nearly overwhelmed with grief today.  Grief is complicated, there are so many mixed emotions... Yet there IS hope.  The Lord said it best, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.  (Matthew 5:4)

God is good.  He IS our God of hope.  Paul writes, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." (Romans 15:13)

David the sweet singer of the Psalms wrote of his God, "You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy."  (Psalm 30:11)

 He is also the one who penned these words of hope.  "Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy." (Psalm 236:5)  

God understands grief and sorrow as no other.  Through the Prophet Isaiah God sent this beautiful message to those who love Him.  "To comfort all who mourn,  to console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”  (Isaiah 61:3, 4)

Sadness and grief are not comfortable emotions--a lot of folks don't know what to do or say, when confronted with them.  And that's alright. When someone you love is grieving, all that's needed is your presence.  You don't even have to say anything.  You are a precious gift, because those who mourn often feel totally alone.  

For those of you, who's hearts have been broken, there is hope.  The Psalmist wrote, "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."  (Psalm 34:18)  

We are not alone, dear ones and that is a comfort in itself.  May God bless your life with beauty and joy.  

I will See Him Again

Four years ago today, my Beloved flew home to heaven.  It was unexpected.  I still can't believe he's gone sometimes.  Today my Alan is with the Lord and I am grateful he is there--I smile through my tears.  He is in a better place and some day I will see him again. 

Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.  For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep.   

For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.  After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.  Therefore encourage one another with these words. 

 ~ 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18

My husband could read Greek fluently.  He was a teacher and often taught that in the original language the words "caught up together with them" has the idea of being caught up next to those we know and love...  I treasure that hope with all my heart.

Eagle's Song -Paint Party Friday

Years ago I made this cloud painting from a photo I took over the back fence.  As you can see there is an Eagle flying next to the cloud--miraculous indeed.

I am posting it tonight, in honor of Dan Becker.  He was a veteran--a beautiful eagle of a man, who was strong, loyal, sweet, and kind.  He was a dear, precious friend.

About an hour ago, Dan unexpectedly flew away to heaven.  We have known the Becker family for a little over 25 years.  He was one of Alan's best friends and was a wonderful part of all of our lives.   He was a second Daddy to my children after their Dad left us three years ago. 

Now Dan and Alan are together in heaven. 

Please pray for Dan's wife, Judy, their family, friends, and for me and my children.  We are grieving and hardly know how to get through this additional loss.  Yet, there is comfort in knowing we will see them again.  God is here, grieving with us--and we are not alone.

Blessings, comfort and joy to all of you, dear Friends.  Thank you for dropping by.

Beauty From Ashes -Paint Party Friday

This bit of art is a little different than my usual art.  There was a page in my sketchbook covered with steaks of color as well as scratchings from micron pens.  I'd been testing colors and nib sizes for another drawing.  But, it was really good paper and I didn't have the heart to toss it.  So--I decided to doodle--and as a result--this drawing.

In some ways this drawing depicts in part, another major heart shift.  The sweet words I heard were "beauty from ashes." I don't know what that means yet, but I am looking forward to discovering what is ahead.  This past year has been one of the most difficult yet since my Beloved flew away to heaven. 

Part of my struggle has been that of becoming the woman I am to be without my Beloved.  I was married much longer than I was single...and we were partners.  There are questions....Who am I really?  I am who I am when I am by myself.   Once again I have realized the person I become now, depends upon the things I put into my heart and life.

Those ingredients are, first of all, time with God and doing His will in my life--then treasuring family and friends.  Acquiring wisdom, knowledge and purpose--maybe even taking some college courses.  Then there are celebration, beauty, laughter...and tears. 

I think my Darling would be proud of me so far, and that is a dear comfort.  The truth is, though I am discovering who I am as a single person--that person was shaped by my Beloved--he made my life an adventure.  We learned so much together.  (sigh)  I miss him.

Blessings to you in your life's journey dear ones--thank you for dropping by, and Happy Paint Party Friday.

Stones and Roses -Paint Party Friday

When hard moments persist, one of my greatest comforts is to let my fingers draw what is in my heart.  This drawing was done in a difficult moment after the Fourth of July, when I was missing my Beloved.

Today is my parent's anniversary--they would have been married for 60 years today.  Daddy flew to heaven in 2012.  It is also my brother's birthday.  Cancer took him in 2001.  So many precious friends and family have gone on.  I am happy for them--but they are missed.

Grief is like the ocean...rising to crash into the shoreline--then sliding back to a subtle life rhythm.  It will always be a part of my life.  The storms still rise now and again, but not as many as before.

This little tear-filled faery leans upon the rocks to weep.  But in a moment she will smile through her tears to flit into the warmth of the sun and the fragrance of the roses.

Have a lovely weekend, dear Friends.  Happy Paint Party Friday!

Lifted -Paint Party Friday

I have had lots of trouble sleeping at night.  I miss my Beloved husband very much--and the nights are the worst.

So, when I am unable to sleep, I often doodle.  The doodle above took several nights of drawing.  It is called Lifted.

There were tears in every line as I drew this--but when it was done, I realized it is a picture of my song of hope.

Above you see my reference photo.  This beautiful picture is of lovely Jessica, a DA stock model.

God bless you all, and Happy Paint Party Friday. 

A Time for Weeping -Paint Party Friday

February has been especially hard for me.  I have a fondness for the book of Ecclesiastes, written by King Solomon and found in the Old Testament of the Bible.  He was the wisest man in the world and had a lot of wonderful things to say.  In chapter three, he writes, "there is a time for weeping and a time for laughter."  Ah, how true that is.  This has been a month of tears for me, as I miss my Beloved with all my heart.

David, who was King Solomon's Father wrote the songs found in the Psalms.  He wrote, "The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18) I have felt the crushing burden of grief, where I am hardly able to function under the terrible pain of sadness.  I  miss the love of my life.  Yet there is hope. 

I will choose to trust the Lord--the One Who loves me--He will bring me through these tears and there will be joy in the morning.

Have a lovely weekend, dear Friends.  

Him Who Loves Me -Paint Party Friday

As summer draws near, the aroma of roses and honeysuckle fill the still warm air.  Sunshine sparkles, as thin wisps of white curl across the blue sky.  

This is my first summer without my sweet husband.  I miss his blue eyes, the way they would glow with excitement as he related stories from his day.  I miss his wisdom, tenderness and kindness and the touch of his lips on mine.  

This week has been very hard.  The numbness which first shields the mind in times of emergency and extreme trauma, has worn away. Renewed grief, like an underground river, flows through each day.  I know this will pass--it is the work of grief to weep and struggle on through--to stay whole, it is something I must do. 

I am grateful that I am not alone when the tears come flooding into my eyes.  The Good Shepherd--Him Who loves me, is here.  He walks beside me, and holds me in His arms when I do not have strength to keep going.

How grateful I am for the Lord.  He is indeed well-acquainted with sorrow, but He is also the author of joy--He is the one who promised, "Joy comes in the morning..."  For now I am safe in the arms of Him Who loves me.

Happy Paint Party Friday, all you wonderful artists and beautiful people. May God bless you, dear ones, with His joy and peace.  Have a lovely weekend and thank you for dropping by.

Something More -Paint Party Friday

I lost my sweet younger brother to cancer in early 2002.  We were only a little under fourteen months apart in age.  I have always expressed my feelings through my art--in my grief I began to paint Dow's hands.  As I did so--the picture became something more.

This painting, though from a long time ago, seemed perfect for Easter weekend--a time when many of us celebrate God's gift of hope.  Indeed, I know will see my Beloved husband, my little Brother and my Daddy again someday.  

Happy Paint Party Friday, all you lovely artists and beautiful people. May God bless you, dear ones, with His joy and peace.  Thank you for dropping by.

Stars in the Desert -Paint Party Friday

Here is a recent graphite drawing from my sketchbook.  I have started drawing again in earnest.  My fingers are not near as stiff as they were--I believe my inability to draw had much to do with mourning the loss of my Beloved.   I was frozen for awhile.

Sometimes the road I travel is rocky and full of tears.  But then I remember to look up at the stars and to Him Who made the Heavens.   He is the Creator Who loves me and walks with me. 

For the twinkles in the skies, I used the Star of David.  I love the way the star looks--so perfectly balanced and beautiful.

Happy Paint Party Friday, all you wonderful people. Thank you for dropping by.

Goodbye My Love -Paint Party Friday

Early Thursday morning, October 30th, I lost the love of my life.

I know lots of people are not comfortable with the loss of a loved one and the story of what happened.  However, my husband left in such a beautiful way, I wanted to share it with you.  If you are uncomfortable with reading this account--I truly, deeply understand.  ((HUGS))

That night I knew something was wrong, so unable to sleep, sat beside him, as he slept in his big chair downstairs.  Suddenly he grabbed the top part of his chest and said he was in awful pain.  A moment later, his eyes grew large, and he gasped as though he saw something indescribably wonderful.

I called 911, and I performed CPR until the ambulance came.  Our dear children were able to arrive before he left for the hospital, and we were together there when he flew away to heaven.

It didn't seem real that he was gone.  We were hugging and kissing him goodbye, telling him what a great job he did, what a wonderful father and husband he was, and how much we loved him--to be at peace and to not worry about us.

I didn't realize it, but in that emergency room, we were encircled round about by a crowd of nurses and doctors--those who had fought so hard to save him.  We sang his favorite songs and held him as long as we could.  The entire time we were there, those wonderful people surrounded us....their heads bowed, hands folded, many with tears running down their faces.  After a time, they trickled from the room--but stayed close by in the hallway.

As we were getting ready to leave, the head RN came in and said, "We see a lot of these, but it is rare to find a family with such love, who handled this moment with such great beauty, strength, and dignity."  Then he gave us his card and said, "If you need anything let us know."

I have been married to this wonderful man for 31 wonderful years.  Alan is the love of my life.  I miss him more than I can put into words.

I want to share something beautiful that happened to me early Saturday morning. As I lay trying to sleep, a small sweet breeze slid across my face...and then his dear lips pressed against mine.  My husband kissed me goodbye.

Alan was a servant of God and He loved people. He wanted everyone to know God loved them too, and so I am passing his message on to you dear ones--God loves you.  He longs to know you, God wants to share His son and the world He created for you--in a whole different way than you've ever known.  

My family and I would deeply appreciate your prayers.  May God bless you with joy--even in the midst of great sorrow.

Celebration of Life

When we heard of the accident, my husband and I began to pray.  This is the drawing which flowed from my breaking heart and out of my pencil.  Daniel's grandparents are our best friends--they, their children and grandchildren are an integral part of our own family.

Daniel's Celebration of Life yesterday afternoon was beautiful. Especially touching were the cub scouts who were an wonderful part of the service.  I loved when we all did the wave...the message to live life to the max was poignant and inspiring...  Because of this small boy's sacrifice, four people were given life.  This is a comfort to us all.

I sat next to a boy who was just about Daniel's age. There were so many folks attending, we were seated in the foyer area, where it was tough to see. After they asked us to stand, join hands and pray, this little fellow glanced up with a shy smile. I was holding Daniel's picture in my hands, and I noticed the boy's gaze, so I kept it where he could see it. When the service was done, I turned to him and asked if he was one of Daniel's buddies. He gave that smile again and said yes. I grinned and said, "I'm so happy to meet you." And we shook hands. I felt that tiny moment cheered his young heart a bit--and his Daddy sitting next to him. So many beautiful moments. 

Afterward, everyone gathered in the Gym at the Elementary School. A choir of children sang so beautifully. There was food and banana splits available. There were quilt squares and markers so everyone could make a personal note or picture on them. There were legos at every table, children and adults busy creating. Crayons and big pieces of paper were in the center of all the tables, balloons floating overhead.

There truly was a spirit of joy there.

Daniel's family has been our family for over 20 years.  Our hearts break for them...They are beautiful and wonderful down-home folks.  Our prayers and love are with them always.

Bless the Little Children

Our hearts are breaking as we hear reports of a mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary school in Connecticut.  I can't wrap my mind around what happened there this morning.  Our hearts and prayers go out to all the people touched by this awful tragedy.  They will never be the same.  None of us will.

May God's strength, comfort and compassion surround this community--especially the parents, families and friends who've lost their loved ones. 

The Good Shepherd

This is another commissioned piece.  I love The Great Shepherd who watches over us.  I have often sought the comfort of His Presence these past few weeks.  How grateful I am for Him Who loves and understands my heart.

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.  

He makes me lie down in green pastures; 

He leads me beside quiet waters.  

He restores my soul; 

He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.  

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, 

I fear no evil for You are with me.  

Your rod and staff, they comfort me.  

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; 

You have anointed my head with oil;  

My cup overflows.  

Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, 

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

~ Psalm 23, penned by King David of Israel

 God bless you, dear ones.  May the Good Shepherd watch over you and keep you safely in His arms.

Joy of the Angels

Saturday, December 17th, just before six, I was in the middle of setting up the stage for yesterday's drama.  Suddenly I became so dizzy I had to sit down.  It was the strangest feeling--as though a part of me was suddenly missing. 

Miles away, at the VA hospital, Mom had been holding Dad's hand praying.  Then his fingers gently cradled hers--a moment later he was gone.   He flew away at 5:45--exactly when the dizziness overcame me.  I know Dad tenderly carries a piece of our hearts with him always--we who are left behind grieve, yet we have hope.

I can only imagine the joy of his Shepherd and the angels, as Daddy arrived in that beautiful place prepared just for him.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers over these difficult weeks.  Please continue to hold Mumsie close in your prayers.  She will be walking a different path now--one without her best Friend and lover--as Mummers has always said--he was the wind beneath her wings.  Also, pray for my sweet sissy Clytie, who has always been such a great gift and help to my parents and the twins. Sissy Leigh, who will be helping with all the arrangements and her family, our brother Mark and his family and Darren and his family will all welcome your prayers.

Take time with the ones you love.  Work can wait.  You'll never regret spending those precious moments.  Life is fragile. God bless you--every one of you dears out there--with abundant life, extraordinary love and amazing joy. 

Heart Breaking News

Heart breaking news.  Our dear Mumsie will be staying at the VA Hospital in Portland with Dad, until Daddy flies away to heaven.  I am so grateful to the Veteran's Hospital for their great kindness to Dad and to Mom as they share their last days together.  Thank you for your thoughts and prayers for our precious family during this time. 

On Wings of Doves

Dad has taken a turn for the worse and is now in full Comfort Care.  Daddy is getting ready to go  home to be with His Savior.  Though our hearts are full of grief and we will miss him, we take comfort in the words of our Lord:  "Let not your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.  In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you.  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself that where I am, there you may be also.  And you know the way where I am going."   (John 14:2-4)

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.  He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then He said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."  He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life.  He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son."   (Revelation 21: 4-7)

When I called this morning, Mumsie told me her special prayer--she says when it's time for Dad to go, she's praying an angel will arrive in a long, gold-plated muscle car with big fins and the rag top down.  Bro Dow, Dad's sweet Mom, his brother and sister will be riding shotgun--there'll be hugs and greetings, then with a heavenly smile, the angel will open the door of that car.  I can see Dad grinning as he hops into the driver's seat, to drive through the gates of heaven, golden winds cooling his brow, the love and laughter of His Savior and family in his ears.

More than just about anything else, Daddy loved to drive his car everywhere on all kinds of adventures.  It seems only right he'd drive into heaven for the greatest adventure of all.

There is a hush in the air as we await Daddy's homegoing.  Please pray for our family and especially for Mumsie, as she is going to miss her very best friend--the love of her life.

Thank you for your prayers for Dad and Mom--and for our family.  We treasure you.

My Tears

Tonight I cannot sleep.  It is already tomorrow.  This afternoon, we will learn the results of the biopsy my beloved husband had last Monday.

I confess a disquiet in my soul.  A grief, a fear.  It seems, so far, as though anything that could go wrong has done exactly that.  What would I do without my Beloved?  I can't even begin to imagine life without him. 

Yet, I trust in God.

I trust Him.  Even though there are those who have mocked my prayers in the midst of this darkness, I know God hears me. Thank the Lord for you dear ones who have prayed for us.  And I thank the mighty Creator for you precious ones who, though you do not believe the same things I do, have always treated my heart's love for God with deep respect--who have lovingly sent warmth, light, and kindness our way.

The prophet Zepheniah writes these powerful poignant words, "The Lord Your God is with you.  He is mighty to save.  He will delight over you.  He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."

I trust in the Creator Who sings and in His Son who weeps with us.  Ah, in these are difficult, dark days...May His light shine through my tears--and yours.

Unspoken

 

This graphite drawing was inspired by a photograph of a sculpture found in a graveyard.  I was so touched by her face and body language.  The grace and beauty of this statue filled my eyes.  I felt something unspoken from the hand of the artist who originally carved this beautiful woman--I hope I was able to catch that mystery.