Friday, February 8, 2019

Saying Goodbye -Paint Party Friday

With Valentine's Day quickly approaching, my heart feels melancholy.  Even now, four years later, it is hard to comprehend I am alone.  Sometimes I feel the presence of my Beloved, but as time passes I feel his presence less and less.  Still, there is a nostalgic magic in the air...

I sense I am saying goodbye to what once was and greeting the possibility of what will be.  Often when a person looses their spouse after many years, there is a reorganization of one's identity.  It isn't that I lost who I am, it is that I am embracing the woman I have become.  I am strong (most of the time), creative, active, loving and hopeful.

A few weeks before my Beloved flew to heaven, he told me if anything ever happened to him, he wanted me to fall in love, get married and be happy.  At the time I laughed, not knowing of course, that in a few weeks he would be gone and my life would change forever.

I am finally saying goodbye--my heart finally realizing he is truly gone.  I have melancholy moments, but this morning every nerve is tuned to the realization something is coming.  My heart, my life, my whole being looks forward to what God has in mind for me.  I feel a mixture of fear and joy as I face this great unknown.  But Life is like that. 

Above you see my reference photo of the beautiful Rena, who is as lovely inside as she is outside.  I am so grateful to this lovely young woman for her willingness to model for me.

Happy Paint Party Friday and thank you for dropping by.  I look forward to hearing from you.  Your comments and art are a constant encouragement to me.  May blessing and hope be yours, sweet Friends!  


Tarang Sinha said...

Nicely done ---the intricate patterns, especially. :)

carol l mckenna said...

Gorgeous illustration expressing your loss ~ it is not easy losing one's partner ~ be gentle with yourself and your grief ~ it hurts like nothing else in life ~ lots of healing energy hugs to you as you walk your path of bereavement ~

Happy Day to you,
A ShutterBug Explores,
aka (A Creative Harbor)

Clare Lloyd said...

Such a lovely drawing. Sorry to hear about your loss.

Christine said...

Has it been 4 years Beth? Tears in my eyes but here is to new beginnings. Lovely art today!

Valerie-Jael said...

Beautiful art as always. I am happy that you can now go forward to meet the future that is meant for you. Hugs, Valerie

by JFM said...

Beth, my heart aches for you and the loss of your beloved...I can feel your heart breaking as you wrote this post. I am so sorry.
Your art is intricate and so beautiful with a touch of the magical.

Happy PPF and Best Wishes to You Always~

gillena cox said...

" It isn't that I lost who I am, it is that I am embracing the woman I have become. I am strong (most of the time), creative, active, loving and hopeful."
I was happy to read this about where you are on your life journey. Bravo

Thanks for dropping by my blog


Jenn Jilks said...

This is a powerful step forward.
This is a difficult life circumstance. My husband has cancer, and we embrace each day.

(ツ) from Cottage Country Ontario , ON, Canada!

Susan said...

This is beautiful but I ache for you. Thanks for posting. Happy PPF

John R said...

This is a beautiful, delicate drawing, Beth. I can feel a tenderness in your words, which comes from your heart. Such a difficult time I'm certain, but we have to move on at some point.

Lisa Isabella Russo said...

I am so sorry for your loss, you create such beauty and I think you are incredible.

Linda Kunsman said...

such a loving and poignant post Beth. Wishing you love and continued healing.

Tracey@Hotchpotchcreations said...

This time of year can evoke so many feelings within us so sad to think that your love is no longer here to share in your life with you but a blessing to know that there was such strength in your love and a special bond, an experience that many never discover in their lifetime.
It takes a strong woman to turn that corner and walk down that road again, like a flower we should be given the chance to bloom again.
Thank you for sharing your art and words today and the sweet message left for me earlier it means a lot to know that others can read between the lines.
Creative wishes Tracey.
P.S Take good care of yourself x

NatureFootstep said...

Love your woman as I, so far, loved everything I have seen from you. For some reason I first thought it was a letter. D but it did not quite fit.

Grief takes time. Especially when it changes life compleately. I´m happy you are now entering a new, exciting, phase. Good luck and take care.

peggy gatto said...

What a lovely illustration and your words are so thoughtful and sweet.

Jennifer Rose Phillip said...

very nice work :)

grief is such an odd thing, faith if a person has one can be very helpful in trying to understand life so I'm glad it has helped you

Heidrun Khokhar, KleinsteMotte said...

How fast the time has gone by. I am glad of your new direction and do hope you will find your way forward. Your art is as always lovely.

BLOGitse said...

It's amazing how you can draw...A guestion: do you draw live or from photo?
Really beatiful, both, model and your picture!

I'm happy you feel it, ready for the new chapter in your life!
I just checked your weather - we have a few degrees less at daytime than you have at night! It will take a month or two when we'll have that 'warm' :)

Soma @ said...

Beautiful artwork, Beth. You are taking a step forward in this painful and difficult circumstance, that takes a lot of power and courage.